It used to be easier, I think. All of it. The reading, the writing, the walking, the talking, the work, the play. I feel like there must have been a time it was easy. Otherwise how would I have gotten this far?

I returned my rental viola today. I hadn’t touched it in over a month, so it felt like time. I picked it up back in April. It was one, last-ditch effort to renew my study of music. I guess it didn’t really work out as I hoped.

Well here we are again
It's always such a pleasure,
Remember when you tried to kill me twice?

Too much happening. Can't get thoughts in order today.

First week at a new job. Only the third I've held in my adult life. Feeling exhausted and terribly incompetent. Also kind of lonely. It's a good company, though, and I've had good experiences with everyone I've interacted with.

I have been at this every day for over a year. It's something to be proud of, I think. I've also learned a lot along the way.

Sick. Fevered. Living on ice cream and popsicles. Not exactly the ideal state to be writing in. But here I am. I also don't want to just spend five minutes whining about the normal human experience of illness. I guess I'll just ramble a while.

Now that I've made it to a year, there's an additional layer of desire to take a break from this project. I feel kind of like I've earned it. What's the harm, right?

365 days times 5 minutes. 1825 minutes. Over 30 hours. That's just the lower bound. There have been plenty of days I've written for 10 minutes or more.

Today marks the one year anniversary of Five Minutes a Day.

When are dreams made, and why? As we grow up, and even as adults, we are told to “follow our dreams”. Leaving aside the direct conflict this has with the message of “grow up” and “get a stable job”, it brings the question of what these “dreams” we're supposed to have are, anyway.

Blah blah blah. Whine whine whine.

More filler so I can keep pretending that I've actually written something today.

Can this year be over already?

So everything is a drag. I am short on energy, willpower, emotional stability... just about every intangible.

Nope, not today.

Well, my A/C is running for the moment. I'm also feeling slightly less lying curling up in a ball and whimpering. I even made it to work today and made progress on things! Go me!

This week has not gone according to plan.

So today sucked.

Nothing begets nothing begets nothing…