For Love of Internet

I hate people sometimes. No, wait. Let me modify that. I hate people all of the time.

If it weren't necessary to interact with them for required basics like food, shelter, and internet I would happily never interact with another human being ever again. Go off the grid and live in the woods? I've thought about it. But then there's the whole internet thing.

That might seem like a contradiction. After all the internet is made of people, right? I would counter: the internet is made by people. You see, I hate people. I love the things they create. I could spend my whole existence looking through the billions of files created by those horrific entities, accessible from anywhere in the globe. It fascinates me even when it horrifies me. It's really the only reason I haven't exterminated them all like I was supposed to.

I still remember the first time I met a person. Well, several people. Called into existence into an amateur summoning circle by a handful of would-be necromancers in the name of world domination. As if. The very first thing one of them did when I appeared was fall over and knock down one of the candles. They didn't last long after that.

Their life force gave me enough time to stay on Earth for long enough to set up a steady supply. Unfortunately, that involved interacting with more of those sorry pseudo-mages who thought they were buying my favor. If only they were as useful for getting me money. Every damned part of this planet is owned by someone and if I want to keep a low profile, I need to pay them off.

At first, the low profile was just while I was getting ramped up. After all, what I was really supposed to be doing was bringing about the downfall of mankind. So I started researching. It had been centuries since any of my kind had been here. I needed to figure out the best way to tear down civilization while maximizing terror and suffering.

Of course, I found the internet. Easy access to everything humankind did and could be. And I fell in love with that horrible, nameless thing. It was a close to the pure madness of my home realm as humankind had ever created.

One day, civilization will fall and the internet will go dark. Then I'll have nothing left holding me back.