Children and Regret

“I just don't see why anyone would ever want me, Nancy,” Helen said. She threw another crumpled tissue onto the pile, even as more tears and mucous ran down her face. “Victor wasn't... wasn't that...”

Nancy pulled Helen close against her side. “Now don't you start thinking that way, Helen,” Nancy said. “You are a queen among women. You got yourself to school, paid your way through, got a doctorate in all that computer stuff that we here don't know nothin' about. You're smart as a whip and you're a catch for anyone.”

“I want children, though, Nancy!” Helen said. “And I want to be with someone who does, too. Victor wanted them more than anything. I still want them... want him to...” Sobbing overtook her words.

“There are other ways to have children,” Nancy said. “There're thousands of kids out there who need a good home. It's not your fault Victor was so stuck on usin' his own seed that he walked out on you. You got a lot to give. You're just gonna find it a different way.”

Helen drew back, her accent slipping back in sudden anger. “Now don't you speak badly of Victor, Miss Nancy. I love that man. He still loves me. He got every right to look for what he needs in life. Same as me. Same as you.”

Nancy flushed and stood from the couch. “You're right. I'm sorry. Here, let me go get some more ice tea.” She took the empty pitcher into the kitchen with quick, short steps.

Helen stared out the window at the setting sun, listening to the cicadas, roaring out for their mates to make the next generation. Her sister was right. She had a lot more to offer the world than just children. But why couldn't Victor see that? Why had he...

The problem was her thinking too much right now. Helen called to the other room. “Do you have anything you could slip into that tea while you're in there, Nancy?”