Infestation

“So I just need to spray this around the house?” the woman asked. Ingrid, I think it was. I'm horrible with names. A deficiency in this job, to be sure.

“That's right!” I said. “Just once a week! Guaranteed infestation-free or your money back.” I gave her my best trust-me smile. “I use this myself at home and I couldn't be happier.”

“It smells... a bit odd,” Ingrid said, sniffing the demo can. “Will my whole house smell like this?”

“It fades quickly. It's all natural ingredients, too. The finest herbs and floral extracts.” I winked. “Never trust those places that make theirs smell all fancy. It throws off the delicate balance needed to function properly. Function over form, any day!”

“Is there any sort of trial period?” the man asked. I was fairly certain he'd never introduced himself. But maybe that was the last house? They all sort of run together after a while.

“Your first week's treatment is one-hundred percent free!” I pronounced. “After that, it's just a small monthly fee and we'll ship to your door on schedule. You can cancel any time if you're not happy.”

The couple looked at each other, and then gave a significant glance upstairs. Ingrid shrugged in a what-could-it-hurt sort of way. The man nodded.

“We'll take it,” he said, handing the demo can back to me.

“How wonderful!” I said. “I guarantee you won't be disappointed. Let me go get the paperwork and your trial kit from my van.”

“How long will it take before... we see the effects?” Ingrid asked.

“Results should be immediate. If there are any possessing entities left in the house after a week's time, just let us know. We stand behind our product.”

I quickly walked out to the van, trying to ignore the eerie wail rising from the second floor. Another child at risk, I wagered. That got quick sign-ups like nothing else.